lifeisfunny

Keith recently began a new job as “communications officer” for our county, aka 911 dispatcher. This is a small county, and there is only one such person on duty at any one time, therefore, he gets all the calls that come in while he’s there. Some are very, very serious; others are less serious.  

As you read this, imagine a slow-spoken rural Kansas drawl in the words that are spoken. A Kansas drawl is not as bad as an Oklahoma drawl, but many of us still say things like “worsh” instead of wash and “git” instead of get, and we can still go “over yonder” or “down the way”.

Dispatch doesn’t change shifts at the same time the deputies do in order to avoid total chaos. One evening (he works the night shift) he was on the porch having a smoke while the deputies were changing shifts. One went off duty; another came on. It’s okay for him to do that as long as he leaves the door open. His dispatch post is just inside and he can still catch the phone by the 2nd ring and reach the radio before a second transmission.

So, as he and the “fresh” deputy chatted a minute, a dog came to visit. It wasn’t just a dog. By all reports it was the biggest yellow lab they’d ever seen, and as gentle as he could be. They each gave the dog a pat and went back inside.

Later, a call came in from the convenience store down the street. The “biggest dang dog” the caller had ever seen was hanging around and this customer afraid to leave the store.

 Okay, so not the kind of call you’d expect a sheriff’s deputy to take, but this is a small community and occassionally they even have to answer to a call about a skunk in the yard.

Keith assured the caller that the dog was very sweet and dispatched the deputy to capture the gentle giant and take it to the pound.

A few minutes later the deputy called on the radio. “I have a prisoner down here but I can’t get him in the car.” 

Keith can’t laugh on the radio. It absolutely woudn’t be professional, and besides that, he did once and everyone in the county laughed with him, because most of them listen to the scanner for entertainment. As he was regaining his composure and trying to decide how to answer the deputy, the radio squaked again.

“The 10-15 is being walked to the Sheriff’s office by a civilian. I will meet up with him there.”  

A 10-15 is a prisoner. In this case, a canine prisoner.

A few minutes later, another call came through about a chocolate lab (this must have been lab day) that was running loose and “foaming at the mouth”.  Hmmm…. a frothy chocolate lab.  

As Keith waited on the porch and watched for someone walking this Goliath lab, a friend of ours, about 5 ft 3 or so, walked up with her German Shepherd on one side, and the lab on the other. The dog didn’t know who she was but apparently thought she was cute enough and came along with no questions asked. About that time the deputy pulled up too.

In a small community, sometimes we have to wear a lot of different hats, and sometimes we have very diverse job duties. This was one of those times.

With the deputy kind of pushing at the dog’s head, and Keith pulling on the dog’s hindquarters, they attempted to get the dog into the patrol car. They pushed and pulled and pushed and pulled but the dog firmly planted his center of gravity and gave them both one of those looks that asked what the heck they were trying to do. No matter what, that dog was not going into that squad car.

With the deputy in the car holding the lab’s leash the lab began to slowly lead the patrol car toward the puppy jail..deputy in the car; dog out.  Keith told the deputy he had a frothy-mouthed chocolate lab for him to chase down when he got done. I’m sure the deputy was thrilled.

About halfway down the street on the way to the pound the deputy noticed they were being followed. A chocolate lab (undoubedtly with a warrant) was following them. Apparently this lab wasn’t foaming at the mouth, but just thirsty. He saw the yellow lab walking the patrol car and thought it might be fun, so he stepped in behind and followed along.

I can imagine that the chocolate lab was curious, and had always wondered what he’d do with a car if he caught one.

 The next radio transmission was the same deputy calling in his location. 

“I’ve got two canine 10-15s at the puppy jail - one voluntarily and one not so voluntarily.”   

Anyone listening to the scanner might have noticed that it took a minute for dispatch to answer.

It’s just not right to laugh on the radio.